It's that time of the year again.

"Trick or Treeeeeaaaat!!!"

I put down the remote, picked up the plastic Jack-O Lantern basket filled with mini-chocolates and opened the door. Sigh. This is the very first time since I moved here that I've been designated as "the-bloke-who-hands-out-the-goodies" since Mom, who actually cherishes the task, had to work Halloween night. Kaye's holed up in her room wailing the song "Torete" over and over again so that pretty much leaves me as the lone sentry in the living room awaiting the eventual doorbell of the young and not-so-young tax collectors of the night. I'm just amazed at how these kids can even stand the cold while walking from house to house on their quest for sugar, caramel and diabetes. More to my chagrin, why the hell didn't I have this in Pinas when I was a friggin' kid!? Tsk. Anywaaaay, back to the kid at the door:

"Woooow," I grinned and stooped down to the little girl dressed up as a princess in front of me. "..and which princess are you supposed to be..?" I asked.
"Cinderellaah..." she sheepishly answered as I offered her the Jack-O-Goodie basket.
"Ooohhh..." I cooed and smiled at her as she surveyed the contents of the basket, wrinkled her nose at the Whoppers and Starbursts, and finally settled upon some mini Snickers, Butterfingers and Almond Joys. Cute as a button, she gave me a little wave as she turned and ran back to her mom who was waiting just a couple of feet behind her.

I smiled, greeted them a Happy Halloween, closed the door, and settled back down on the couch. Well now, I thought to myself, that wasn't so ba--

"Trick or Treeeeeaaaat!!!"

Wow. That was fast, I thought to myself, as I once again opened the door to a trio of kids dressed up as Pikachu, Tinker Bell and Nicole Richie (ok, the 3rd kid was wearing a skeletal outfit and the anorexic Richie comparison just came to mind). Candy handouts, smiles for everyone, Happy Halloween, yadda, yadda, yadda. They all picked the Starbursts this time.

Once again back on the couch, I picked up the remote and was just about to give the channel guide some serious perusing when--

"Trick or Treeeeeaaaat!!!"

I sighed and walked to the door with the goodie basket and did the same "Oh-you're-so-cute-who-the -hell-are-you-supposed-to-be" routine again. It was the masked psycho from Scream, and this time he's not out for blood. He wants his Milky Ways, damn-it.

Close door. 3 steps back to the living room, aaaaaand--

"Trick or Treeeeeaaaat!!!"

Jack Sparrow and Winnie the Pooh. They both grabbed a handful of 3 Musketeers and ran off.

"Trick or Treeeeeaaaat!!!"

3 kids wearing Brazil jerseys. Tough luck during the last World Cup, lil' fellas. They settled for Milky Ways and Snickers.

"Trick or Treeeeeaaaat!!!"

Madonna, Wolverine and Gene Simmons from Kiss. Weird trio. And they all took Reese's Peanut Buttercups. Blech.

"Trick or Treeeeeaaaat!!!"

White dude of approximately 20 years, a bit of a stubble on his chin, way taller than I am, wearing a black T-shirt.
"Hey," I raised my eyebrows. Hey buddy, aren't you a bit old too old for this already?
"Hey," he said back. I want my candy.
We stood there for a couple more seconds eyeing each other.
"Trick or Treat!", he exclaimed again with a sheepish grin. Give me the candy already.
"Yeah..." I grinned back at him. You have the lamest costume EVER.
I offered the bloke the goodie basket.
"Err... how many should I take?" he cautiously asked.
"Meh," I shrugged and gestured with the basket again. Just take your candy and scram.

Big mistake on my part.

"Oooh maaaan, you are the coolest guy so far!!!", he cackled like a dope addict who just happened upon a Columbian druglord's stockroom as he nearly emptied the basket of its contents with two big handfuls and stuffed it into his pocket, all while I stifled a gasp and resisted the strong urge to scream in tongues, rotate my head 360 degrees and spew some demonic gunk on him. I actually had to bite my tongue a bit as I bid the exuberant sugar maniac a Happy Halloween, adieu for the night, and hoped he chokes on the Snickers.

I looked at what the goodie basket has left in it. A small handful good for one kid. I grinned as I thought, well now... just one more guest and I'm done for the night.

"Trick or Treeeeeaaaat!!!"

I opened the door to take a look at my last customer for the night and...

...Lo and Behold...! If it isn't Little Lucifer himself. How chillingly appropriate, I thought. And he was already munching on one of his spoils too; a KitKat bar.

"Hey ya little devil!", I bared my teeth as I gave the little fella a big grin and offered him the last contents of the Jack-O-goodie basket.

Little Lucifer leaned forward and took a look at what's inside the basket, looked up at me with all the sarcasm his little pudgy face can muster, gave a little pompous sniff and said:

"I don't like any of your candy"

...and then ran off to the next house, leaving me on the front door with that incredulous "grin-turned-grimace-eyes-wide-open-what-the-fuck!?" look on my face.

"Happy Halloween, you evil little bastard," I muttered under my breath as I closed the door behind me and managed a little chuckle at the kid's little stunt.

Yep... it's that time of the year again.

_____________________________________________________________________

Drunkard's Mantra

I'm drunk
I'm sluggish
I'm tanked as a fish

The alcohol
The booze
My brain is on snooze

I'm hammered
I slur
My memory, a blur

Eyes shut
mouth dry
My mind starts to fly

On my bed
I'm a heap
I'm counting dead sheep

The world turns
as I slumber
Tomorrow I start over.


...not really Pulitzer prize material here but in my defense, I was actually hammered a bit when I did this piece, mwehehe!

I'm in one of those "I-wanna-blog-but-I-can't-be-bothered-to-think-and-formulate-thematically-coherent-words" moods soooo... rather than stay mum and let another week pass by without another entry, I'm just gonna go ahead and put up something here to act as filler material, hehe.

Anyway, there's this forum thread in the Rakista.com forums entitled "Mga Masasayang Alaala Noong Kabataan Mo" and what follows shortly is my little contribution to that happy thread. My apologies to anyone who can't understand Tagalog, haha.

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Mga Kinder or Prep pa lang ako siguro noon...

Umuulan sa labas kaya sa banyo naglaba si Lola. Di ako makapasok para umihi dahil sa may pintuan sya nakapwesto at busy sa kakukusot ng damit. Nagmakaawa ako at mangiyak-ngiyak na nagsumamo na padaanin ako at nga maka-ihi ako sa inidoro. Ayaw. Minura pa ako.

Kaya ayun... inihi-an ko sa likod.

Tanda ko pa tumatawa pa ako noon habang umiihi at habang napasigaw ang Lola ng maramdaman nya ang mainit na dampi ng aking ihi sa kanyang nakayukong likod. May rayuma nga pala si Lola. Bawal mabasa ang likod.

Kulang na lang tanggalin niya ang pwet ko sa palo ng hawakan ng walis tambo.

Tsalap. Ang saya-saya.

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...aaaaahhhh... those nostalgic childhood memories.